The Beast...

A couple of days ago we got a brand stinkin new exhibit in our museum! We have had what we called the "Temp Gallery" for a while now, and it was just a big empty room, but with the new exhibit, its all filled up. Therefore, all of the storage we kept in the temp gallery had to be moved to make way for the new exhibit.ANYWAYS... I was chosen to be one of the helpers in moving all of the random stuff out of the temp gallery. My friend Danny and I were told that we had to move.....
THE BEAST...
truth be told, no it wasn't a real mythical beast. It was a giant fake christmas tree. Danny and I looked at each other and were like"Dude, we can handle this.."

(In the words of Spleen from Mystery Men..)

BIG MISSSTAKE!

THAT THING WAS AWFUL. Its branches were made out of the sharpest plastic evergreen needles. EVER. When we try to pick it up, you couldn't get a real hold on it because it wasn't just one solid piece, it was made up of different parts. WHICH WERE CHAINED TOGETHER FOR SOME RIDICULOUS REASON. Who chains together tree branches?! I swear that thing weighed a billion pounds. A....BILLION.... and it was so big, it was very awkward to cart around.
We finally got it on a cart and tried to wheel it to the trash room. But then SPENCER (he finally came to our rescue from the horrid evergreen monster.) had to get it stuck in the elevator. Then when we finally got it out, he accidentally slammed into a wall and put a hole in the plaster. Nice huh?

THEN when we got into the trash room, we realized that we had to lift the blasted thing up into the dumpster. which was like 3 feet tall.IT WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. no way, no how. That beast was fighting against us with all its christmas might. We then had the idea to try and make it lighter by taking off some of the branches. We then realized that the branches were made of metal, and they were strapped together with christmas lights and chain.

That was the LAST STRAW CHRISTMAS TREE FROM HADES... We then decided that we would take out all of our rage on this stupid stubborn thing and start ripping its limbs off. YEAH THATS RIGHT, WE RIPPED YOUR LIMBS OFF WITH OUR RAGE.

but...then we figured out that it was no use...
we were defeated....
we left it on the cold concrete floor of the trash room....
WHERE IT BELONGED.
THATS RIGHT, YOU BELONG ON THE COLD HARD FLOOR YOU EVIL THING.

But hey, look on the bright side. Spencer got a sweet power strip from it. We ripped it from its cold, dead, needles....
GO BACK TO THE DARKNESS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!